Searching for happiness, finding joy, and a kind offer

The story is from my conversation with Mr. Z. It started with his earnest search, for almost two years, to answer why he didn’t feel as happy as he thought he should despite his many hard-earned achievements, in work and life.

Happiness is never an easy topic for me. It is a huge concept, yet feels elusive. It’s almost universal but deeply personal.

The conversation didn’t start smoothly.

Dissatisfaction. Spotty recollection of moments. Feeling not enough. Not enough feeling. Physical pain. All started to jumble.

I remembered reminding myself: a coach is there for the person, not the topic.

And, this time, I was the coach.

Through his story, Mr. Z slowly let me enter into his boundary. Holding his boundary was my job.

This common space allowed him to safely revisit his thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs. Fear too, a little.

And, with time, this safe space accompanied him to reframe his challenge into a different version, which he is personally more ready to deal with.

His reframing resolved into how to find more joy. It’s no longer about “I should feel happy because I have done the grand x-y-z.” But, it’s about understanding, without judgment, what brings joy to him.

The concrete action he came up with was to reflect on “What did I enjoy today?” every day.

Every day, for 14 days.

As a friend, I kindly offered to remind him daily on Telegram.

He took the offer.

• •

That small offer wrapped up our conversation and gave seed to this idea:
A daily reminder to reflect on what you enjoyed during the day. For 14 days.

It doesn’t have to be big, nor fancy.

It can be about the food you ate, the kind words from a friend, or the colors of a leaf you found on the way home. Or, the sixty seconds you intentionally did nothing.

After 12 days, Mr. Z said, “... sometimes just a bit of awareness and forming a new habit can bring small but significant impact.”

What will you say after 14 days?

• • •

We don’t necessarily know the next step towards happiness.

From this experience, I learned that our mundane and ordinary life offers enough moments that bring joy. Moments that invite us to pause from time to time. Those pauses might lead us to a deeper understanding of happiness.

Also from this experience, Mr. Z thought I should extend my offer to more people. The same offer to remind him to pause and reflect on “What did I enjoy today?” – consecutively for 14 days.

I said Yes to Mr. Z. Thus, I am sharing this story with you.

The path to happiness appears when you learn to enjoy the steps that go into making that path.

“What did you enjoy today?”

If you’re interested to receive a daily reminder to reflect on this question, please enter your email here.

In the next 14 days, I’ll email you a visual reminder like the following to accompany you on this journey.